For information on how to participate in the Down Syndrome Indiana Grandparents' Support Group, please contact Diana Jones

Please notify Down Syndrome Indiana regarding other grandparents' groups appropriate for individuals with Down syndrome or their caregivers.

 Here are some helpful insights for grandparents...

Grandparents Do's and Don'ts
By: By Linda Murphy, MS and Suzanne Della Corte, MS
Source: Special Parent Special Child, Vol. 6, No. 2

Do be aware that most schools, agencies and parent support groups welcome grandparents. Some associations even have grandparent groups. This is a good way of keeping abreast of your grandchild's specific disability and, more importantly, indicates your moral support.  

Do avoid the pitfalls of cliché-ridden advice. Comments about "God's will" or Pollyanna statements about things not being as bad as they seem sound condescending and don't provide the comfort you wish to imply.

Do remember that if you have a positive, tender, loving attitude towards your grandchild, others in the family will feel the same way. The more support from family members, the better the young parents feel.

Do remember that non-verbal expressions - a loving pat to your grandchild's head, a warm hug to your son, daughter and their spouses - convey what words cannot express. By the same token, pitying glances and an anxious tone of voice deepen gloom.

Do be aware of any heightened sensitivity in the parents. Be careful about what you say and remember that your most well-intentioned remarks can be taken the wrong way. Handle this with grace and humor.

Do let your children know that they can rely on you in good times or bad. Many grandparents have flexible schedules that can be arranged to meet the needs of the grandchild. Just knowing that this kind of help is available can lessen anxieties and strengthen family bonds.

Do offer to visit or help out with your grandchild regularly. Sometimes staying at a nearly hotel can ease the logistics and make the visit even more rewarding for all concerned.

Do find out the best time for you to visit or telephone. Your children might relish their privacy or be in the middle of things and unless you ask, you visits or telephone calls might come at an inconvenient time.  

Don't allow any frictions between yourself and your children interfere with your relationship with your grandchild. The bonds of love between grandparent and grandchild are genuine and profound. The relationship can enhance and nurture the special grandchild's feelings of self-esteem and self-worth.

Do be aware that there are revolving cycles of grief. Feelings of depression, anger non-acceptance or sorrow usually surface around birthdays or other milestones, such as when your grandchild should have been starting regular kindergarten or school. Knowing this ahead of time can prevent the reaction from becoming extreme.

Do remember that above all the relationship of a grandparent to a grandchild is unique, and the love that is generated is freely given and like no other. You grandchild is first and foremost a child - more like other children than unalike. The needs of a special child differ only in degree, not in kind. Your special grandchild responds to your love, your jokes and games, your abiding affection exactly like any of your other grandchildren.